Fanworks

Movie Night

Originally published on 2020-05-10| 4000 words | read on AO3

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, Remus, Janus

Warnings: Impersonation, mentions of: death, kidnapping, spiders, cannibalism

Other tags: Domestic, Alternate universe: Daemons

Summary: Daemon AU. The sides and their daemons have gathered to watch a movie.

Author's notes:

I do not claim for my interpretation of the Sides' daemons to be the only possible one; this is the cool thing about fanfiction - everyone can share their own takes on one concept or another, and it's interesting to analyze and compare them. I'm guessing in particular that the fandom has a new fondness for frogdaemon!Patton. However, I find my own choices quite fitting for those characters, and I will stand by them.

This is not simply a universe where daemons exists; it is, in fact, Lyra's world, just many years after the HDM canon takes place. My vision of this world is very heavily influenced by Erin Ptah's amazing HDM x WTNV crossover series, Republic of Heaven Community Radio, which you should absolutely check out if you're a HDM and/or Night Vale fan. I trust the worldbuilding in this series almost as much as I trust the original HDM trilogy, and one of the Sides' daemons has actually been inspired by one of Erin's characters.

Another daemon was taken with almost no alterations from a favourite book of mine, a historical fiction novel called The Watchmaker of Filigree Street. I couldn't resist, It just seemed to fit really well! If you like steampunk, mystery, supernatural shenanigans, and slow burn interracial gay romance, this is the book for you!

If you have never read His Dark Materials, or you have but you're still confused about some of the terminology - there is a brief glossary of all the otherworldly terms at the end notes. While the fic makes many references to the HDM story and worldbuilding, it does not contain major spoilers for the trilogy.

And now, without further ado, I hope you enjoy the fic!

End of author's notes

It was time for another movie night, and the mindscape dwellers took their seats.

Roman, of course, was sitting at the edge of the sofa, in order to keep close to Arion. Roman has always felt cramped whenever they did those meetings. Their daemons were, of course, just figments of Thomas's personality like them, and therefore noncorporeal, but still, even an imaginary full-sized horse, gifted additionally with an impressive wingspan, didn't really feel at place in a regular house like this. 

Of course, Roman was always happy to appear when he was summoned to the living room, and debated eagerly enough whatever dilemma Thomas was facing this time, but a part of him always wished to be back in his own part of the mindscape already, where he could roam the endless fields and chase the rainbows on his beloved white steed.

But the documentary on Rusakov particles, while suggested by Logan, was looking to be rather an interesting watch, so he decided to endure this particular bout of domestic claustrophobia. Besides, he was promised snacks. Speaking of which...

'Patton, this is the sixth cookie you've had today! Leave some for others!'

'You know what they say, Roman!' responded the side holding the half-eaten sixth cookie, in a half-joking, half-apologetic tone. 'Hummingbirds have to consume 20 times their weight in sugary things every day to stay afloat!'

'Hummingbirds do not 'float', Patton, they fly just like any other bird,' intercepted Logan. '...Except for penguins. And emus. And other winged-but-not-flying-creatures. Also, that ratio is absolutely not correct.'

'Ratios, schmatios... oh, who cares. Those are not fun. You know what is fun, though? Cookies!' declared Patton and, in confirmation of his words, devoured the second half of his prize.

The little fleck of brilliant blue and white around Patton absolutely refused to stay in one place. The others have already gotten used to Mateusz constantly being in motion. In fact, in the rare cases that the little hummingbird was not flapping around (in that case, it usually landed on Patton's shoulder or head), the sides started to become worried about Patton's mental state.

Next to Patton sat a stately alpine marmot, and next to the marmot sat its human. Logan's soul enjoyed physical contact even less than the average daemon. He and Logan were, of course, just as inseparable as any person and their daemon, but still, Aristotle preferred to keep his distance, sitting next to Logan instead of cuddling with him.

Virgil's daemon, on the other hand, was almost never seen apart from his human. He often sat in his lap (although, given Virgil's unusual sitting habits, there was always a hard balance to maintain), or hid inside his hoodie - the kitty was small enough to situate himself there with much comfort. Virgil always insisted that Melior was an adult cat, but the truth was, he was almost small enough to be mistaken for a kitten. That is, of course, when they were calm. In times of unease, however, one could see Melior puff up into a giant ball, and the noises of protest he made would be heard through the entire mindscape.

'Mateusz, would you mind? I can't see the screen!' complained Roman.

'Sorry,' squeaked the little hummingbird, and changed its position to be slightly above everyone, so it won't obscruct anyone's view. There, it hovered perfectly in one spot, its wings flapping ceaselessly to combat the pull of gravity.

'Shhh, the movie's about to start!' < hr>

'So, parallel universes, huh?' noted Patton, as the screen showed a vision of a city in the sky, glistening through the Northern Lights.

'Isn't it fascinating?' responded Logan with an unusual vigour in his voice. He was clearly very happy to see the others actually enjoy something he likes. 'It is theologically proven that there are a myriad other realities like this one, right next to us and yet so far within reach.'

'Wait. So you mean that... there's a parallel universe right here in this room?'

'Yes, many, in fact', confirmed Logan, slightly annoyed that he has to explain something so obvious. 'Actually, it is entirely possible that a parallel universe version of the room exists, and parallel versions of all of us are sitting here on a parallel version of this sofa, watching a movie just like this one, but slightly different.'

'Aw, I wonder if there is a universe where we're all real people and hang out with each other!'

'Or a universe where we're all noble knights, just taking a short respite in the tavern before taking on our next quest,' mused Roman.

'Or a universe where daemons don't exist.'

'Nooo!' cried Patton, grabbing the little hummingbird in his cupped hands and pressing him to his chest. 'How can you say something like that, Virgil?! I can't even bear the thought of a universe with no Mateusz in it!'

'Maybe they're just invisible,' theorized Logan. 'Hidden inside our souls instead of being an external part of them.'

'I don't want to be invisible!!!' peeped Mateusz, already escaping Patton's grasp and raising above the others. 'I want to stay with Patton, as visibly as possible!'

'Or maybe there's a universe where we're all made of goo!' chirped another high-pitched voice. Its owner scuttled from behind the TV, holding a small piece of fabric.

Remus's daemon was... an odd one. It was pretty clear that he was an octopus, but Logan couldn't find any real life species that corresponded to it. Of course, he could simply represent a species that hasn't been discovered yet, or even some sort of mythical creature - those things happen sometimes, like with Roman's pegasus - but Katsu didn't even look like an animal. Under close inspection (and, frankly, none of the other sides were really that eager to inspect him), it appeared that he was actually made of minuscule mechanical parts, gold and brass, the cogs powered by some unseen engine. 

Despite his artificial appearance, he moved much like a real octopus, and seemed to be just as natural of an extension of Remus's soul as any other daemon would be.

'Just imagine! The sign in front of the city says 'Welcome to Gooland! Try our delicious goo!'

'Hang on, hang on, how does that work?' put in Logan's marmot, confused. 'So the people are made of goo, and the food is made of goo as well? Is it just living beings that are made of goo in this scenario, or is it a change on a molecular level that renders all existing matter slushy?'

'Don't encourage him, Aristotle,' warned Roman's pegasus.

'Nobody asked your opinion, Katsu,' hissed the black kitten, who had jumped off from Virgil's lap and was now looking the octopus in the eyes, his back arched. 'Go back to your human. Where is the bastard anywa- Oh.'

He froze for a second.

'Patton, do me a favour and don't. look. at the ceiling. Please.'

To his credit, Patton actually listened to him, and even covered his eyes with his hands. But Mateusz, being already so close to the ceiling, couldn't resist his curiosity and peeked.

There, attached to the ceiling by some unknown force, was Remus. He seemed absolutely disconcerned by his unusual position, having quite a relaxed expression on his face. Also, he was engulfed in flames.

'Eep!' was all that Mateusz could say before he lost his balance in the air, and Patton had to catch him before he hit the floor.

'I told you not to look!' meowed Melior.

'Don't mind me, I was just listening to the lovely conversation you're having here. And Logan, back to your point, you're actually missing the delicious possibility that the goo food is also made of people! Nothing like bros being cannibal hoes, amirite?'

'Just ignore him, guys. We have a movie to watch,' sighed Virgil. 'Wait a minute... is that my sock?'

But Katsu was already octopusing out of the room, still clutching the sock. Melior tried to chase him, but the mechanical cephalophod was faster than him, having escaped through the door just as Melior reached the edge of his and Virgil's range. He hissed loudly in the octopus's direction one more time, and then returned to the comfort of his human's jacket. Remus himself seemed to have dissappeared as well.

'Ah, look at how cute Pan is here!' noted Patton, as they were now watching the part of the documentary that explored the life and theological discoveries of Dr Lyra Belacqua. 'Logan, I think you've always wanted for Thomas's daemon to look like Lyra's.'

'Everyone who was into experimental theology as a kid wanted their daemons to have the same form as Pantalaimon, Patton. But I suppose you were the one who influenced the form he actually took.'

'Oh no, I've actually wanted for Foster to become a big bear, so we could give the best hugs ever!'

'The obviously superior form for Foster would be a dragon,' intercepted Roman. 'Not only have I mused for days at a time at how epic that would be, I also wished for Thomas to gain the ability to separate from his daemon, so that we could have twice the adventures, and have tactical advantage over our foes!'

'Which would make Thomas a... dragon... witch?'

As soon as he finished that sentence, Logan sulked his face in his hands in deep denial.

'Forget I said anything.'

'What about you, Virgil?' asked Patton. 'Was there any particular form you envisioned Foster settling as?'

'Not really.'

Virgil looked like he was trying to hide inside his jacket. Melior lay comfortably inside his hood, eyes closed, the pointed black ears sticking out.

'C'mon, Virge, we all had our fantasies as kids! There's not even a famous actor whose daemon you liked?'

'Uhhh... I guess... spiders are pretty neat.'

'Wait, what?'

'Wait, WHAT?!' yelled Patton and Roman simultaneously.

'They are! Have you ever seen one of those pictures of tarantulas with water droplets on their head? It's pretty adorable.'

Roman sighed. 

'I can't believe this.'

'But spiders- spiders are creepy crawly death dealers! Why would you think our sweet sweet Thomas would have a soul like this?'

'Well, that's pretty offensive to all the people out there who actually have spider daemons, don't you think?'

'Actually, Patton, it doesn't quite work like that.'

Logan cleared his throat.

'If you see a person with a spider as their daemon, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're a- uh- 'creepy crawly death dealer', as you put it.

The form of a daemon can reflect on all kinds of traits in their human's personality. A spider daemon could symbolize hard work and a good eye for detail, as spiders are known to be good architects. Or they're good at making friends, creating a web of connections. Or perhaps they're a natural protector, catching metaphorical flies and other pests in their web.'

'Well, that's just confusing,' put in Roman. 'What you're saying is, you can have two people with the same daemon form who are nothing alike in character!'

'That's correct. Tell me, is Thomas identical to any other dog person we've met?'

'...I guess not. Similar, perhaps, but not identical.'

'See? In the old times, people with dog daemons were thought to make good servants. It's a simple enough statement, but in reality, it can be pretty harmful. A person should not be limited in their career choices just because they settled as a specific form.

We know now that people can be successful in all fields of life, regardless of what form their daemon takes. While dog daemons are known to symbolize loyalty and determination, those qualities are in no way limiting to what that person chooses to do with their life.'

'And I suppose that dogs themselves are very versatile,' Roman started thinking aloud. 'A chihuahua daemon is not the same as a samoyed daemon.'

'Awww, I'd love for Foster to be a samoyed, they're so fluffy! Like a cloud!'

'Clouds are not made of actual fur, they're just water vapour.'

'Well, I'm happy with Foster's form as it is, concluded Roman. 'He's not as fanciful as a collie or a husky, but still handsome.'

'Agreed.'

'I still think you guys underestimate the cute factor of spiders,' mumbled Virgil under his breath.

'What was that?'

'Forget it. Can we take a break? I need to pee.'

'Alright. I was just about to refill the snack bowl anyways. Patton, don't you dare eat all of those too!'

'Sorry!' cried Patton, but then whispered to nobody in particular, 'can't make any promises though.'

'I heard that!'

After they've restocked their supplies of food and beverages, and took their seats, the movie started again. The narrator now was explaining the principles behind the work of the aletheiometer, and Logan was practically glowing.

'We don't know much about Dr Belacqua's childhood, but she apparently possessed an unexplicable gift for reading the aletheiometer when she was a child. Can you imagine? Being what, nine, ten, years old, and having access to an infinite source of knowledge, just within your reach!'

'...That's just Wikipedia,' argued Roman.

'That's the thing, it's not! Wikipedia can't tell you whether you should trust a particular person, or predict human behaviour with 100% certainty, or spew out facts that wouldn't even be proved theologically until decades later. It is a truly unparalleled instrument.'

'Well, why do people not use it more often then? You make it sound like a true panacea to all of the world's problems. If you know your enemy's true intentions, if you can learn who exactly is screwing you over, shouldn't all wars and injustices be obsolete at this point?'

'Well, the short answer is, it's not that simple, Roman. There are only thirty six symbols on the dialpiece; each symbol on its own has a multitude of meanings, and the amount of combinations is theoretically limitless. Alethiometrists study for decades to be able to interpret the readings with much accuracy. Even Dr Belacqua had to use reference books when reading the device.'

'Why did they make it so complicated in the first place, then? Couldn't they have made some sort of a Dust-powered Luigi board?'

'...You mean the Ouija board?'

'Yeah, that's what I said - Luiji board.'

'I think you mean the weggie board?' put in Patton.

'You guys are insufferable,' groaned Virgil.

'Anyways, Roman, you're not the first person to have asked this question. Many experimental theologians have in fact tried to make all sorts of similar truth-reading devices. Some people have even claimed they could make it work on a computer, but to no avail. Unfortunately, there's still so much we don't know about Rusakov particles, and how they interact with material objects. But theology marches on, so hopefully in a few decades alethiometers will be just as accessible as Wikipedia.'

Patton smiled absent-mindedly, lost in his thoughts, while Mateusz flew in happy circles around him.

'If I had an alethiometer, I would ask it if my friends love me as much as I love them.'

'And I would ask it how you manage to be so unbelievably wholesome all the time,' replied Roman. 'Just kidding! I would actually ask it for feedback and advice on my acting skills, and make an outstanding career in no time!'

'What about the wars and the injustices?' Logan scolded him.

'Oh, that too. Of course.'

'And what would you ask it, Logan?' prompted Patton.

'I'll be honest with you guys, if I had the chance to gain access to one of the surviving alethiometers, I- I'd be at a loss of words. There are- it's such a spectacular device, and there are so, so many mysteries to be uncovered. I don't know if I would be able to handle it, really. But probably, one of the first questions I'd ask it is whether aliens exist. And also whether Atlantis was real. Oh, and the real identity of Jack the Ripper.'

'...What?!'

'They never came to a definite conclusion.'

Virgil shifted his position on the floor. Melior was now draped over his shoulders ike a weird sausage, his eyes half-closed.

'I dunno if I would use the alethiometer, actually.'

;Why? Wouldn't it be easier to know what's going on? I thought a lot of anxiety was routed in the feeling of uncertainty, the inability to understand what's going on.'

'Yeah, but truth can be equally terrifying, can't it? Say, Joan has disappeared and you don't know what's happened to them. Would knowing for sure that they were kidnapped or killed 'make things easier', as you say?'

'No! Not Joan!!!' yelled Patton, accompanied by Mateusz's angry chirps.

'See? Sometimes it's just better to stay in the dark.'

'I would disagree with that, Virgil. Sure, some facts about this world can be distressing, to say the least, but it's important to learn them nonetheless. Acknowledging a problem, as heartbreaking as it can be, is the first step to dealing with it.'

'Yeah, until you learn too many disturbing things and realize there isn't actually anything you can do to change that.'

'Well, that's a discussion for another day. Certainly, an individual's efforts may not seem much compared to all the problems the world has to offer, but it's important to make your own contribution regardless.'

'Which is exactly why you should not think about it too much. The less you focus on the impending doom that awaits us anyways, the easier it is to actually work on things.'

'Ignorance is never a good thing.'

'Neither is hyper-awareness.'

'You can't just shun yourself from the world forever!'

'I can if it benefits us in the long term!'

'Well it doesn't!'

'Well, it doessss~~' hissed the daemon on Virgil's shoulder that suddenly wasn't a cat anymore.

It took Logan a few seconds to compose himself.

'Well, I- ahem- I have to admit, that was pretty good, actually. If you haven't broken your cover, I would have continued to believe in that narrative, it's very fitting for Virgil. I'd give you an eight out of ten for that performance, what do you think, Aristotle?'

'A seven. The daemon gave it away - again. Melior doesn't really sit on Virgil's shoulders that much, you know?'

'What- what are you doing ?'  Roman was fuming.

'Giving him 'feedback and advice on his acting skills', as you put it so nicely just a few minutes ago. Isn't that what you've wanted as well?'

'This- this is different! He's been impersonating Virgil this whole time!'

'I was actually hoping that you might notice,' admitted not!Virgil. 'The fact that none of you did honestly says more about you and Virgil than it does about myself.'

'Okay, Janus, the game was fun the first few times, but at this point it just feels old, you know?'

'The term we prefer to use is 'classic,' hissed Janus's daemon. 

'But you don't even know the meaning of the word, do you, Roman?' hissed Janus's other daemon.

'Classic' refers to old Disney movies and productions that have been praised highly by generation after generation, not cheap parley tricks that everyone's tired of. Anyways, why do you still look like Virgil? I think we've done more than enough to expose your treacherous scheme.'

'My hypothesis is that the reveal only works if you actually use the word 'Deceit', proposed Logan. 'Ah, and it seems we just got sufficient evidence to prove it.'

'Seriously? This is some fairy tale logic when it comes to dissipating a spell.'

And in a blink, the lord of the lies stood before them in full attire, his daemon wrapped around his shoulders like an elaborate neckpiece. It was a regular yellow rat snake, with one unusual characteristic - it was split at the neck, having two distinct heads. Their faces were opposed at a full 180°, so they couldn't see each other unless they turned around.

Their names were Machaon and Polidarius, though nobody could remember which one was which. Janus mentioned once offhandedly that one of them only speaks in truths and the other only in lies, but for obvious reasons, nobody knew for certain whether that was true.

'What have you done with Virgil, you rascal?!' demanded Roman, his sword already half unsheathed. Arion's ears were now pinned back, and he was pawing the ground with his hooves, losing his patience.

'Oh, you know us. We obviously tied him up and threw him in a cold damp dungeon without as much comfort as a renewed Netflix subscription,' said the snake head on the left.

'No!!!' cried Patton in complete despair. 'Not even Amazon Prime?!'

'He's- he's- he's lying, you guys.' Logan sounded almost tired. 'Besides, it doesn't quite match your style, does it, Janus?'

'Virgil and I have our... differences, but I am very much above petty violence like this.'

'Right. If we did want to have our sweet, sweet revenge, there are much subtler ways to do that,' put in the left head.

'Besides, the situation we found Virgil in was compromising as it is,' added the right head with a sigh. 

Logan's marmot rose from his comfortable spot on the sofa, looking at Polidarius and Machaon attentively. 'What do you mean?'

'We found Virgil passed out on the bathroom floor,' explained Janus. 'He seemed unharmed, just incredibly tired. Must have fallen asleep on his way out. We brought him back to his room.'

'I don't know what kind of 'accepting anxiety' arc you did, guys,' noted the right head, 'but you really need to keep a better eye on him. The emo kid has been losing a ton sleep and none of you noticed.'

'That... is something I would actually plead guilty to,' nodded Logan. 'I was so excited to watch this documentary with you, I didn't pay enough attention to him.'

'I did see him go to the kitchen last night and grab like six cans of Red Bull,' Roman confessed.

'But what were you doing in the kitchen at night yourself?' asked Logan.

'Well, that's none of your business.'

'My point is, Virgil has been under a lot of stress lately, and you guys need to give him some love and attention. And I know that he won't listen to me, so, I'm just passing the message to all of you.'

'...Thank you, Janus. I- we- we'll take it into consideration.'

'I can't believe you guys are so quick to trust him like that! We're not even sure if what he's said about Virgil is true! What if he really did kidnap him?' 

'You are very much welcome to pop into his room and check on him, Roman. But be careful not to wake him up, and bring some earplugs - he's the loudest snorer I've ever heard.'

'Falsehood,' interrupted Aristotle. 'Nobody can match Mateusz when it comes to snoring.'

'It's true,' inserted Arion. 'When we heard it for a first time, I was sure they were about to drop a bomb on us!'

'Oh, c'mon guys, it can't be that bad-'

Logan took his phone out and played a recording. Patton's face instantly became red.

'Relax, it's not like you're doing it on purpose!' Roman tried to cheer him up.

'Well, as fun as it was to indulge in this friendly batter with you, I have some personal matters to attend you.'

'Matters like crafting little leather collars for Machi and Poli?'

'I have no idea what you're talking about, Patton' said Janus just before sinking down. The left snake head added, 'and don't you dare use those nicknames for us ever again.'

'Well, that was... certainly something,' exhaled Logan. 'Should we resume watching the movie?'

'I'm not sure,' put in Aristotle. 'Virgil seems to have missed a significant portion of it, it would be unfair to continue watching without him.

'Eh, I'm no longer in the mood for it anyways,' sighed Roman. 'Seeing that dubious serpent really ruined my day.'

'Well, I think we all had fun,' put in Patton, 'even Janus! And Virgil will hopefully feel much better after his good nap.'

Author's notes:

Glossary:

Everyone's daemons:

The recording of snoring Mateusz that Logan was showing to the others sounded something like this.

I may or may not write another fic within the same universe, covering the stories of how the Sides' settled into their current forms. But I'm not the most organized person in the world, so, no promises. But I hope you enjoyed reading the fic and I appreciate your support and feedback <3

End of author's notes